my memories
Saturday, December 30, 2006
26 Dec
BOXING DAY ah.
jaslyn! -.-' sent me happy boxing day msg. so funny. am i susposed to wear BOXERS for today?! ahaha. okok.
EH I WAN SCOLD PPL. SAY WHAT GIRLS OUTING. WHAT BUY DRESS DAY?! HUH, JAS! CHOO! IVY! WHAT HAPPEN?!
why in the end only got me phyllis and alicia. EEEE. all liars. LOL.
okookkk. anyway. i spents lotsa money today. got 1 zebra top. 1 pregnant top. 1 mini act cute skirt. 1 pregnant sundress. hahaha. will wear the dress this sunday! =D took pics of all the stuffs we tried. haha. oh, i kidnap phyllis's camera home. hahaha. i forgot return her. bleah. =P
ATTN TO ALL GIRLS ; wear dress this sunday. wear pretty pretty. we take lotsa pictures k? =D
2:13 AM
be still, for u're GOD.
24th Dec
dance performance.. was.. errs. horrible. haha. totally cocked up. unorganised. but its ok. cos its over. LOL. yeah.
neighbour came to church today. ok. his name is JASON. lol .. shall call him by his name instead of neighbour. hmm. actually nth much happen in church. exchanged lotsa presents here and there. signed up for next yr dance ministry. i signed up for both HipHop and Modern Dance. =D hope i will have fun fun fun. hees.
after that went to meet ks at TPY station. went suki sakura to eat. very full ah~ den we went sentosa. oh .. must say got who.. hmm. got me ks louis xiaohui zhiyong johnathan sam and xal. yea. den we go sentosa, bought absolute vodka den mixer den chat till 1+am. den vodka finish, buy another bottle. -.-' played alot of stupid games. ahaha. bout 3+am we cmi le. so i bought the left over vodka home. we called cab. ks got heartburn thru the journey home. =(
anyway, ks gave me a ring + necklace chain for christmas. i like the ring alot. very ME. love u dear. =D and thanks to all the present givers and card writers. =DD love u all tons!
25 Dec
went church for uncle billy's event. saw sarah and gang .. MISS THEM SO SO MUCH. ahh~ nvm nvm. next yr can see them le. hees.
my duty is to tear the tix. at the door there. so funny. very messy la. anyway, yeah. nth much for the day.
lalala~ blessed christmas!
2:12 AM
be still, for u're GOD.
23rd Dec
ton on 22nd. chat with phyllis on the line till 7am.
chat bout almost everything in the world. exchanged alot of secrets! lol. most of the stuffs exchanged was confidential anyway. lol.
bathe den went down to lakeside to have happy meal breakfast. my hello kitty toy is with dear. gave it to her. she better take good care of it! =D den we head down to the park there. played all the way till bout 2pm. i'm the leader! ahha. same grp as jiamin wenhao father and zhiwei (sintat's friend). haha. after lunch at westmall pastamiania, we head down to the camp camp chalet place. very cosy lah~~ haha. free time till 5.30pm.
well. was quite emo ah. maybe due to lack to sleep. or maybe was thinking too much. anyway. yea. had a great time. reach home bout 11+pm. =D
2:09 AM
be still, for u're GOD.
sigh. things are definately changing. its drying me up. someone fill me the passion to love again.
2:06 AM
be still, for u're GOD.
Saturday, December 23, 2006
AHHH!
mood = pekchek + anger + disappointment.
quarrel quarrel quarrel. always! irritating.
now u're saying i have a att problem.
i've nth to say.
very fucked up with this life of mine!
with all the fake smiles that hides all the tears.
really miss the slashing period. sigh.
12:44 AM
be still, for u're GOD.
Thursday, December 21, 2006
anyway, thanks for those who came today! =D great encouragement.
and and, thanks for your currypuffs power. i guess it did help. LOL~
1:49 AM
be still, for u're GOD.
ahaha. CCIS day. eh. dont ask me how i fare cos i totally forgot bout it. i totally dont remember dancing thru. it's so fast and vague. i dont even know did i get all the steps correct.
lol. anyway, after tat i left with ks, ks's friend, chinhui, chin's friend, jiemei, casand. went back to wdls. den eat mac. hees. love my boyfriend! =D
1:40 AM
be still, for u're GOD.
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
sigh. this is IT. tml IS the day. so scary and nervous. ahaha. must jiayou. hope tml lotsa of ppl will be touched by our peformance and that there'll be salvation! yeah. =D
anyway, there'll be quite a number coming tml.
chinhui will come with pompoms! haha. jiemei casand kahmun luyi and kahseng will come. jiayu izaati eugene roy will oso be there. not sure bout yvetter val jen and all. dint cfm with them. lotsa pending ppl like vonne, jeremy and all. hope they'll come too. =D
hope tml rain will stop for us! haha.
it's weird.
feeling real weird.
but no choice.
this cant go on. anymore.
12:12 AM
be still, for u're GOD.
Monday, December 18, 2006
just too lil too late. christmas is coming. shopping not done yet. AHH!!
today went down to berven's dance studio. cool. haha. air con there very good. anyway. we cleaned up quite a bit. so yah. more confident now .. hopefully tml's rehearsal will be fine.
CCIS LIST.
1. jiemei
2. luyi
3. kahmun
4. casand
5. boyfriend
6. chinhui
7. eugene
8. jeremy
9. tengyao
10. izaati
11. jiayu
12. jennifer
13. val ?
14. yvette ?
to be cfm by tml.
mixed emotions.
10:53 PM
be still, for u're GOD.
A friend reminder.. rem cover blanket or wear jacket when u slp..coz rain sure cold.. take care
10:52 PM
be still, for u're GOD.
the song kept ringing in my mind.
where you go ~ i miss you so ~~
sigh. why am i so so bothered by that message...
what does it means.
12:30 AM
be still, for u're GOD.
last cell group of the year! hah. david gave us JELLY BEANS! so sad la. i will miss living rock alot. i'm not sure if i can fit in the new cell group. with all the ppl that i dont really know.. i hope it will turn out fine.
she said no. he said yes. i dont know. sigh. i guess i trust her more than him. =(
anyway, it doesnt concerns me.. so i aint really bothered, i think......
after going to anchorpoint for dinner with dear. i went over to ikea to meet ks. he's with his dad. so scary. i dint dare to talk at all. sigh. i feel so awkard la. haiyo. anyway. his dad drove me home. damn. record leh. 10 mins from queensway to home. super duper fast.
anyway, first impression is a goner. shallnt dwell over it. haha.
i guess darling is angry with me. sigh. i dint meant to not call him back. but.. yah.. =( there's alot of things i wanna tell him.. but.. he just dont seems interested. simple things like, i got in the rain today. my shirt is all wet. i bought a slipper cos my shoe is flooded with rain. to plans like i intend to get braces..etc. but, i dont know. he just dont seems to let me have the talk with him. really upset. i guess he is upset but decided to keep quiet. hais.
nothing much. rehearsal was nice, except dance. its horrible. tml we'll meeting berven at a studio which he rented for us. so sweet. i hope tml is a better day for dance.
CCIS attendance list.
1. Eugene
2. Jeremy - said to be brought but Eugene.
3. Roy - said to be brought but Eugene.
4. Jason - said to be brought but Eugene.
5. Tengyao
6. Izati
7. Jiayu
8. Jennifer?
9. Christina?
10. JieMei
11. LuYi
12. KahMun
13. ShiHui?
14. Lyn?
15. Chin?
list to be cfm.
=D i am so tired.
12:17 AM
be still, for u're GOD.
Sunday, December 17, 2006
tell me i aint crying. sigh.. i thought i said i shouldnt cry today?.. just what happen.... sigh.
did i really changed? i thought it was fine. i thought it was alright. i guess i just thought wrongly. it wasnt what i thought it was. sigh. i dont know .. and i really dont feel to know. i just wanna escape..
12:18 AM
be still, for u're GOD.
Saturday, December 16, 2006
wad can i say .. i feel so empty deep down inside. nothing can be done to it isnt it. the just a cycle. over and over again. nothing inside. hai. it's a black day today! girl in black. hopefully no one can see how empty i am inside. hopefully, the blackness just covers everything. the blackness is enough to cover up. yes, i think it did. i acted well today. well done, jane!
all the secrets that griefs my heart. i wanna live a new life. but it seems so difficult. sigh.
today, dance practise was horrible. i'm really worried for the performance. though some ppl says it look good already, all of us know very well.. that is not the standard to be on stage. totally not there yet. sigh.
and the hours left to performance... is.. 92 hours and25 more mins. we certainly need a miracle.
i dint feel happy today. i wonder why..
11:10 PM
be still, for u're GOD.
Thursday, December 14, 2006
today i had chocolate today! ha. Michele very cute la. wear da santa hatty thing. den go around giving chocolate. so cutee! took a pic of her with us! will upload it somewhere.
after school, i went town alone. why? cause dear sick already. cannot pei me go shopping. den bf act emo. want stay home alone. so i'm alone. haha. went around. shop around. so boring! saw a dress. very sweet looking. went to try. like it alot ah. but too bad, i'm so so broke. =(
8:35 PM
be still, for u're GOD.
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
sigh. this is bad. really bad. i dont know why.. but i all i feel now is.. mistrust.. betrayal.. i got no right to feel that way. not at all. it's her personal space and privacy. secret. freedom. whatever. but i just cant believe it. after all.. i told and tells her everything isnt it.. she actually could keep such a BIG THING from me. this isnt fair. isnt a fair bit at all.
ok, in the first place. it may not be true. but how not true can it be.. when someone can tell me something like that. i hate the whole idea of being the last to know. especially if i had regarded u as my real best friend. at least, i thought u were.
sigh.. forget it. i dont wanna know anything else. it's too much for me to take in a night.
anyway, today's dance was horrible. as in really horrible. eileen filmed us down. and gosh, we looked like worms! what happen to all the energy?! sigh. 7 more days to THEDAY and this is all we got. i dont know but LORD, PLS DO SOMETHING! help us!! ahhh!~ *panic*
school is dull. but i feel its hectic somehow. too much to think and handle. i cant.. the whole betrayal thing cant get out of my head!
eh, dint read the bible last night. came home being too tired. at least, all the presents are done! left mt side. by this weekend would be done! ha. finance quite settle. yea, i hope everything will be under control. :(
if u know i am talking about u, pls do come talk to me.. i need a long chat with you. i really thought u were my best friend......
10:48 PM
be still, for u're GOD.
Monday, December 11, 2006
today, had a bad bad cramp! tengyao was nice. he bought for me panadol. he claimed that he got lots of stares from the ppl working in cheers. ha. anyway, its sweet of him. THANKS TINGTING! =D
school was.. well. nothing special. monday blues i guess.
oh oh. misunderstanding occurred! YC thought that we dint want her along for our 'outing' this friday. but nah, it wasnt true. she thought we dint want to tell her bout it. but actually i dint know bout it too. she isnt the only one. it's just not confirmed so not all of us know bout it. tat's all. i hope nursegang can solve what dispute and conflicts we have among one another asap!
dear called me during my break. wanted to ask her bout it. but i couldnt bring it up. guess i will just write her a letter tml to see how she feel. =) hope she did study today. jiayou!
met ks after school. bought crystal jade (40) for my dinner. he had a bad bad headache! poor boyfriend. i guess he had too much on his mind recently. should get some rest. anyway, good luck for ur debate. i will go for the interpoly if u asked me over. =D
going over to kailing's house tml to prepare the christmas presents. so not settled yet. pray that tml we can get as much done as possible. skipping dance practise tml. =(
scan thru ivy's blog just now. got neoprints of her, jas and mel. *envy* i wanna take pictures with u girls too! ha. but i know i'm always the one pangsehing u girls. SORRY!! ha. but i dont care. BUY-DRESS-day, we go take neoprints! huggies!
that's all. i nidda wash up and read the bible soon. i miss HIS words!
11:59 PM
be still, for u're GOD.
set me free. lead me on .. to where u put me. raise me up and expand my territory. remind me lors, not to forsake the first love. lord, use me. i want to be the light to lead others to u, the salt of the world. lord, show me how and i will follow. set me free now lord. this pain is killing me. its draining me bit by bit. i feel just like a captive. unable to be free. worried bout what will happen.. sigh. lord, set me free. show me the way. and i will go. lord, lead me on. this i pray..
12:31 AM
be still, for u're GOD.
